July 31, 2010
One of my readers asked me if I could ever forgive Scott. I wish I could, because if I could, I hope that I could feel a sense of inner-peace again. It got me thinking though….
In terms of forgiveness… I can forgive the physical infidelity, I can forgive the emotional infidelity, I can forgive that he was too emotionally inept to tell me he was unhappy. I think I could even forgive him for the money he spent on her if I heard him say (and felt it was genuine) that he was not only sorry for the money he spent on her, but was able to admit out loud, to my face, that it was a selfish and really stupid thing to do, and that the girl used him and took advantage of him. He has said nothing to me about it other than “he showed poor judgement”. Ha… that’s the understatement of the year.
I can NOT forgive that email between him and his boss joking about her being his next wife…. I can NOT forgive the bragging about stripper conquests online shortly after our separation… I can NOT forgive the fleur-de-lis neckalce… I can NOT forgive that he left me at home to pick up the pieces after we separated and went back to see the girl during that time, but never made the time to come to see his own children those three weeks. I can NOT forgive that he called the police on me for trying to kick him in the balls. And, above all, I can NOT forgive that he didn’t think our marriage and our very young children were worth enough to try and see a counselor…. he just wanted out.
Those things I can not ever forgive, and I don’t think anything but time will help get those things out of my mind.